Monday, 15 May 2017

If You Can Answer These Questions, You Are Ripe For Marriage.

Your marriage is either interesting or frustrating. Most times we accrue it to choosing wrongly but sometimes it seems not to be so. The truth remains even if God comes from heaven to choose for you, if some basic questions can not be answered then you will still find it miserable.

Recently I have been talking about marriage and family not because I had a terrible one in the past but because I have dwelt among people who sometimes make me feel is better to be on your own. The fact remains I will definitely get married whether I like it or not. Without marriage, you are incomplete except you choose to be a nun or eunuch.

However, I see people get desperate about being married because they can't afford losing a lady or man they love, some even use marriage to tie some ladies down. I have once been desperate too. Some ladies tend to be desperate because of their age or what the society is saying about them. Some ladies can be crazy about marriage just because their friends are getting married too. Some get married because they are pregnant.

Marriage is an eye opener. You rush in, you rush out. Garbage in garbage out. There's no reason to panic about it because I have formulated some questions based on intuition and experimentation during my current research on broken  homes. So I want you to be honest with yourself and answer these questions before you go into marriage with your partner.

Here are questions you must answer yourself....

1. Are you matured?
Maturity is not about the age or the size. To me is how you handle issues in difficult situations. Your reactions to the good and bad in the society. When things go wrong, how do you put it right? Ask yourself and evaluate your response before you start blaming your partner in future.

2. Are you financially stable?
Marriage will take more from you than relationship. That is fact. Be careful when you are in relationship and do not over spend the money you have. The expenses in future is more than the present. Take time to be financially stable no matter the amount. A bird at hand is worth millions in the bush. I see some people make assumptions that the money will come, if you are the type, change your thinking.

3. Are you stingy?
You will wreck your house yourself if you are the type that is stingy. You must learn to be there for your family irrespective of your engagement or dedication to your work or business. I want you to know that money or gift can not replace you. Give your family quality time. Share everything with them, if you are ready to do that you are good to go.

4. Have you identified yourself?
He who must shape your future must have identified himself also. When you give yourself to riffraff, what do you expect in return. You must know your direction in few years to come and work towards it. Ladies be careful how you give yourself out, learn to study the person and ask for his goals and how he wants to achieve them. The goals he set few years back, did he achieved them? Likewise brothers, do the same. The future has no definite pattern but with what you guys plan to do, will help you overcome irrespective of the future.

5. Are you ready to tolerate some idiosyncrasies?
This may sound rude but is true. Ladies are like babies no matter the age or qualifications. They still want that pat on the back. They need that care like a child. They sometimes do something irritating and provoking. You must love it. You must accept it. It is your responsibility and you can't run away from it. If you try to change them, you will end up destroying your home. To my ladies reading this, men are also egoistic and want total control. You also must love and allow a captain to sail the ship.

6. Are you ready to fend for at least four people?
Yes I mean four people because a lady has tendency of bringing guests for you unexpected. You must be ready to fend for them without grudging. Your lady must surely have friends or cousins or nephews or even neighbors. You must always be braced for these when it occurs. It is your cross. Do not complain. Ladies are accustomed to have crowd so take note and be ready to accept them with joy.

7. Are you accommodating?
These is a very big question. Some ladies are not accommodating in this scenario. They do not want to see their mother-in-law. They don't want to see the husband's friends and this has torn many homes.  Be ready to be accommodating. Your husband belongs to you but not you alone. There are people who had contributed to his growth and development. You can't just put them away like that. Remember you are married to his family also.

8. Do you have 50/50 mentality?
If you put responsibility at home equal, you are ruining it gradually. If you are lucky to find a supporting wife, glory be to God. If otherwise, don't complain. You are the head and under no obligation must you enforce that into your home. It should be from your wife to help and it must be willingly. I see people share responsibility in their home, if that's your thinking about marriage then stay single. Is not a crime.

I will like to stop here and continue another time. Take time to read and answer it. If you need to write to me (

Till I come your way again, stay blessed.

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